Dog humans

A dog barked and coughed...

Violet:" aweeeeeeeeeee mom! That dog sounds like a human!"
Aden:" duh violet. Dats cause they are humans.. Dog humans."

He's like so serious.

Dreams

Got Aden " how to train your dragon" pajamas. He sighs as he holds
them and says
" now I can dream about dragons during the day and at night mom..."

So cute

Advice

Violet-7 yrs
Ocean-4 yrs

All of us at the dinner table talking when Ocean raises his hand
patiently so he can get a word in. ( my kids don't stop talking)

Violet:" Ocean. I have advice for YOU! DO NOT raise your hand if you
don't know the answer. It won't get you anywheres!"

Ocean just nodded.

Baby daddys

My boyfriend, my kids and I went out to eat. The waitress gets them
talking real good.

Waitress:" awe. You're daddy is really nice."
Aden:" that's not my daddy. He's away for a long time he lives near
my house."
Violet:" that's not my daddy he lives in florida and I don't see him
much."

I'm sure this lady thought I was a whore. Lmfao.

Candy poop

Aden:" mommy. I gotta go potty."
Me:" okey doke. Have fun"
Aden:" but I'm doin da kind that falls outta yer butt"
Me:" oh. You mean candy? That falls out outta yer butt."
Aden:" you. are. real silly mom. Seriously. It's poop I'm talking
about poop."

Lmfao. He's dead serious.

Santa

Aden:" mom. Does Santa look at me when I'm naked?"
Me:" no."
Aden:"fank goodness...."

Cookies

Aden:" I love cookies."
Me:" I know"
Aden:". How'd you know that?"
Me:" cause everyone likes cookies."
Aden:" not everyone mom."
Me:" Like who? Who doesn't like cookies??"
Aden:"mom. like old people."

Moe moe

Kids playing a game launching a little moe moe toy down the stairs...

Violet very in charge sounding:". Aden. We need to launch moe moe at a
target."
Aden half smiling trying not to laugh:" I got da perfect target. My
buuuuuttt!"

Lol

China

Aden:". Mom that's so weird that udder people are called my name.
There's anudder Aden in my class!"
Me:" yeah bud! There's a lot of people named Aden and a lot of people
with my name but not many people with Violet's name."

He takes a deep breath and very intensly says...

Aden:" Mom. But there's a lot of people named Violet in China right
mom."

Lmfao.

Cat Stevens

Me:" Violet isn't this record so cool? It's Cat Stevens."
Violet fake yawns and says
" speaking of Cat..... Umm I wanna go to sleep... Nite ma."

Geez.

GNU

Aden:" mommy what does GNU spell?"
Me:" GNU"
Aden:" new? Ohhhhhhh right."
Me:" no. It doesn't spell new it spells GNU."
Aden:" ohhhhhhh new."
This goes on and on

Santy clause

Aden:". Mom." ( leaning his back against the wall with his legs crossed)
" I totallllly talked to Ms. Taggart about Santi Clause today."
Me:" oh yeah?? What'd you guys talk about?"
Aden:" Iiiiiiii told her Iiiiiii knew about Santy's nice and super bad
list andddd she said that I'd we be bad then we go on da bad list. I
told her I already knowed alllll of that. Good fing I'm gooder right?"

Fanksgiving

Aden:" Hey mom. Do we gets da turkey from da cow? Or like a pig and
stuff?"

Me:" No Aden we get it from a turkey"

Aden looks at me with shock." Whaaaa? That's just crazy mom."

Taste buds

Aden:" Mommy. Did you know what's sits in your mouf on your tongue?
They are called TASTE BUGS."
Me:" uh huh"
Aden:" Yep! They aren't bugs actually though. They just sit there."

Old old

Aden:". Mommy is 20 old?"
Violet:" No Aden silly boy! 30 is old!!"
I'm 29.... Fml

Wii

When I realized violet created 100 Miis I asked her
" where's my mii?"
Violet:" I forget your nickname."
Me:" It's mom. Don't you forget it!"
Violet:" Actually your name is Julia. But for now plain old " mom"
will do."

Uhhhhhhhhh....

Toof fairy

Fat

Aden:" mommy. You know you're gonna turn fat real soon. It's time..."

Booty shake

Aden:"mom. It's like so weird. When women ladies walk there booty's
shake up and down up and down..."

Ants

Violet:" ants die in the water right mom?"
Aden drinking hot chocolate out of a coffee cup looking very adult
says casually...
"no they don't violet. I put ants in water once and they were
swimming."
Robbie:" they were prob drowning"
Aden:" no they were just swimmin...alive."

China

Me:" hey guys! We are in china town."
Aden:" wellllll I will have noooo idea what china people will be
saying to me... Ya got it mom?"

Prediction

Me:" Aden. Can you bring mom her medicine?"
Aden:"What are you sick or sumptin?"
Me:" Yeah bud."
He mumbles to himself while slowly walkin down the stairs...

Aden:" Yeah I like predicted that..."

Bellybutt

Aden:" can I have a cracker after dinner?"
Me:" yeah only if you have room in your belly, but I don't think you
will.."
Aden:" did you just say bellybutt?"
He starts laughing
Me:" no I said if you have room in your belly but..."
Aden:". You said bellybutt!!!!!!!! Bellybutt!!!!!"
Convo goes on for ten minutes...

Neighbor kid

Neighbor kid who is 5.....
Nk:" my brudder is such a dork."
Me:" whaaa? Hahaha! What does dork mean?"
Nk:" weeeelllll it means he's a punk head and boders me..."
Hahahahahahahahah!

cloud pee per Aden

>
>

Rain

Aden:" Mom. When it rains is the rain actually pee-pee from the clouds? Like is the earth the cloud's toilet??"
Me:" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Marriage

Me:"Aden, can you please put my shoes in the bin?"
Aden:" Thats why I wanna get married.."
Me:" Why?"
Aden:" So I can have kids and then make them do whatever I want"

Zoo snake

Zoo trainer" This is a snake skull. Does anyone know what comes out
of the fangs that can kill it's victim? ...... No one? It begins
with a V...."

Violet" ooo I know!!! I know!!!! VANDALISM!!!!!!"

Stripper

Violet:"When I get older I'm just gonna take off my shirt and dance
around. Like when I'm 16"
Omg. Omg.

School rules

One rule of the school is he respectful..Aden asked me this very very
seriously.

Aden:" mom. So like some kids say being respectivcal means being
mean. I also heard it means be listenin. So which one is it? Do I
listen and be mean?"

Sent from my iPhone

K

Aden:" Violet I met my new teacher today! You don't know her. Her
name is Miss Taggart."
Violet saying this while winking at me:" Yeah I do Aden. She teaches
the "special" class where the kids ride in wheelchairs. Have fun in
THAT class."

Sent from my iPhone

At the Park

Aden" Violet just let mommy push you cause you are going way to slow and stuff"
Violet yells" NO WAY!  Mom already DESTROYED ME AT SWINGING FOR LIFE! she pushed me WAYYYY TO HIGH ONCE!"
Aden sorta whispers..."oh my god...."

Pee Pee

Aden is jumping up and down

Me: " Aden.  Go potty."
Aden:" I don't have to go potty."
Me:" Then why are you grabbing your pee pee?"
Aden:"  Just because Mom.  Just. Because. I. Want.To."

LOLOLOLOL
If only you could hear his voice when he said this....

Stink bug

Aden:"Mom. Dis boy had a stink bug on his hand. If you throw it on
the ground and stomp on it den it will fart!!!!"

Sent from my iPhone

Coffee

Me:" please stop asking questions Aden. I really need coffee first."
Aden:" mom. Don't you know coffee makes people go out of their mind?

He then proceeds to repeat all of his questions.

Sent from my iPhone

HERO

 At the spray park

Two 10 year old boys are shooting all the little kids in the eye with a squirt gun. Violet decides to take matters into her own hands after they make a girl cry. She walks straight up to them and says really loud

" Hey! You want this!!!!!!!!"

She is holding up her fist while doing the karate kid pose. She holds it for like 30 seconds and says

 "I didn't think you wanted my nuckle sandwich!!!!!"

Flys

Fly lands on my my food right before I take a bite.

Aden:" You know mom. You know what that fly's doin when he lands? Ya see when he lands as soon as he lands he is pooping."

Appetite ruined. Thanks son.

Bavin suits

Aden:" mom I can even believe it! This kid is so nanoyin. She has
half a bavin suit on and I can see parts of her booty. Yuck. And her
mom don't speak English so she's jest laughing. But I have no idea
why!"

The kid was like a 10 month old at the spray park.

Sent from my iPhone

Death according to Aden

Aden: " Mom. What happens when people die?"
Me:" I don't know really cause I never died...What do you think Aden?"
Aden:" Well I fink that people die and their inside soul goes out of their dead body and floats into udder peoples bodies and they can turn colors like blue or orange while they are in there. They can then either take over that body or that person can take some of their soul."

In the Car

Violet:"Aden.  Don't you dream about the sky!"

Aden:" No Violet.(shaking his head)  I only dream about Super Heros fighting for freedom....."

Violet:" Oh...."

I can do whatever I want

Cleaning the room
Aden:" mom! Why are you putting all my toys like that!"
Me:" because Aden. Mommy can do whatever she wants cause I'm a mommy."
Aden:" so are you gonna go out and hit people now? Come on mom..."

Lol

Sent from my iPhone

Grown up

Aden:" mom. Don't you have being a grown up? It's not fun right?"
Sent from my iPhone

Contact booty

Aden on the couch saying

" I decided I'm gonna contact my butt to destroy my pee pee"

Me:" Aden you need your pee pee"
Aden:" ok then I'll contact my butt to contact my pee pee and they
will destroy the world"

Sent from my iPhone

Chocolate poop

Aden on the couch while I'm trying to get work done...After a few minutes I realize he's saying

" I want to put chocolate in my booty like chocolate poopyness"

Katy Perry song "if we ever meet again"

Aden singing to this song
"I'll never be the gay... If we ever meet again"

Supposed to say "I'll never be the same, if we ever meet again"
Sent from my iPhone

Birthday

Me:"Aden and Violet. We are gonna BBQ and have cake and ice cream and
sing happy birthday to Violet."
Aden:" awwww man! Everytime you make me sing happy berfday it's like
disterving to me."

Sent from my iPhone

Violet and recording music

Violet:" Mom. I want to record tonight. I want to record "my
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" song."
Me:" ummm ok. "
Violet:" I want to change the words to "my milkshake brings all the
boys to the........ BRIDGE!!! Or GARAGE!!!!! Well fix that song real
good!"

Sent from my iPhone

Steamed Broccoli

Violet:" oh so you put broccoli on my plate.... I'm not eating it."
Me:"Yes. You are. Don't you know what broccoli does for you and your
body?"
Violet:" No I'll tell ya what it does! It burns your mouth!"

Sent from my iPhone

Old age per Miss Violet

Violet:" Mommy. How old are you?"
Me:" Well I'm 29"
Violet:" Holy Guacamole!!!! That's olllldddd!!!!!!"
Violet:" How old is Robbie?"
Me:" 32 I think"
Violet:" Whoooooah! I thought you were old but that's super duper old!"

Sent from my iPhone

Love note to grandma pt 2

The love note within...

Love note to grandma pt 1

Envelope

Learn to Speak Atlantic City

Violet:" MOM!!!  Do you know what DOO DOO means in Atlantic City language?"
Me:" Uhhhhhh.   No?"
Violet:" It's like slang for Poop."

Gothic Violet

Violet throwing a fit after being told no ice cream...

Violet:" alls I'm having is destruction. You know what that means!!!!
Destruction is ruining my whole day"

Sent from my iPhone

Toll Booth

Aden:" mom. Why did that toll lady wear gloves on her hands when she
gave you money?"
Me:" it's so she doesn't get people sick or vice versa."
Aden:" oh! So she wears them so like people don't throw up on her
hands right??"

Sent from my iPhone

Mouth

In the car I gave Aden some of my water.

Aden:"Fanks mom. You gave me water cause you don't want my mouth to
burn right?"

Sent from my iPhone

Electricate

Aden:" mom. Did you know that when you go peepee on a fence that has
electric power then you electricate your peepee all da way in your
body!!!"

Sent from my iPhone

Friends

Aden:" mom. Don't you wish this. Don't you wish our friends lived
above us and below us like a sammich?"

Sent from my iPhone

Little kids

Violet's note. She is 6 and little. WTF she cracks me up.

Looks

Me:" oh Aden I look like such an old, plain, ugly mom today."
Aden:" no you don't look like that!"
Me:" what do I look like then?"
Aden:" you just look like normal."

Sent from my iPhone

Class party

Me:" hey Vi, whatcha wanna being to the class party? Brownies? Cup
cakes?"
Vi:" nope I think my classmates would enjoy something from CVS
Pharmacy."

Sent from my iPhone

Babies

Me:" Matty will have babies some day."
Aden:" when you have kids I'm gonna give you a nuckle sandwhich!"

Sent from my iPhone

Thinking Man

Me:  "Hey guys we are going to the Franklin Institute to watch a movie!"
Aden:" HEY!  I know dis place!  It's where they have the statuve of the man who's always THINKING!  You know mom!  He says " I'm thinkin......I'm thinkin.....I'm thinkin....but he never has a PLAN!"

Bagel

Aden:" hey mom. Is this bagel made out of puss?"

He says this loud in the coffee shop and very seriously

Hairy

I wish I could put voice recordings on here. Was sittin on the couch
with Aden when he starts saying in a weird high pitch voice "Who sees
my hairrry pits!"

Crystal pee pee

Aden:" This magical crystal candy is makin me havin to pee like all
day. Isn't that weird mom?"

Ghost Busters

Aden saw these three people dressed in Ghost Buster Authentic outfits
at the market. He yells because he can't contain his excitement. He
yells

"Mmoooooommmm!!! Look! They are from outer space!!!!!!! Ask em if day
knowed aliens!"

Park Life

Violet:" Moooooommmmm! Aden's talking to a stranger man!"
Aden begins to run toward me yelling "Wellll he didn't killll me!"

Baby Shower

Me:" You guys gotta get to bed. Tomorrow is the Baby shower for Jen."

Aden:" Mom. I don't wanna see a baby pop out of her belly tomorrow all wet."

Violet:" Aden. It's a baby shower but the baby doesn't get a shower."

Aden:" SOOOOOOOO the baby doesn't pop out and take a shower?"

From the Baby Sitter Brennan

Last time I babysat Aden

Aden: "Why don't you want to race me"
Me: "I can't I'm tired, I'm getting too old!"
Aden: "You're not old!"
Me: "What do you mean I'm not old"
Aden: "You don't have a big belly!" (after taking a closer look at me) "....Ummmm.... okay you're a little old!"

Poops

At the play ground Aden has to poop. So we run down to the coffee
shop run in the bathroom he sits real fast on the can and shouts
" oh poooop sweeeetttt poooooppp"

Sent from my iPhone

Worry bug

Violet:" look Aden! I made you a worry bug in school it's for you!"
Aden:" what's it for?"
Violet:" Well. You squeeze it and squeeze it and you don't hafta
worry about it just the worry bug has to worry cause you're squeezing
it reeeal hard."

Rock station 94.1

Aden:" Mom. You hear dis song? It's the rock I grew up with. I
think I remember it from when I was little."

The station's slogan is "the rock you grew up with". The song he
"knows" is ACDC. Haha

Sent from my iPhone

Internet

Aden:"Mom. I need you to go on the Internet to find out why flies
like poop. It's like so weird!"

Face paint

Afterwards all day he kept asking me if people were afraid of him
because he looked like an tiger/cheetah thingy.

Let's Play Catch Up

Here are some oldies but goodies!

Aden: "Mom. I talked to the babysitter last night about the Philly fananic. He thinks he's real. Do you think he's real?"
Me:" ummmm. Well what do YOU think?"
Aden:" hmmm I think that he's real and not a human. There's just no way a HUMAN can look like that!"


Me:" Aden. You are going to need to chill out a be quiet for a minute."
Aden:" Ok mom. I'll be quiet like a......HOT DOG!!!!! Cause hot dogs are like soooooo quiet and they just sit there and look at you and are like super chill."

Violet:" Mom. It scares me when you say crap."( she's laughing...)
Aden:" Well Mom when you say ffffffffffuuuuu( he looks up at my grandparents) I mean crap I don't gets scared." ( he's being very matter of fact)

Since Aden got Iron Man flip flops he keeps tilting his sunglasses to the base of his nose and leaning against the wall while snapping his fingers before answering questions....

Violet: ". Mom!!!!! Wake up there's an emergency!!! I cannot find my cute skirt!"

Aden: "Mom when I was in your belly you know how did you pick my name?
Me: "Wellllll your father picked your name.
Aden: "Ohhhhhh.... Soooooo you mean he liked Aden better than hmmmm you know like better than jerk or poophead?

Aden: "Mom, when you die it'll be ok cause god will bring you back to life right?"
Me: "Ummmm prob not Aden
Aden:" Wait! So you're tellin me that god brought his son back and NOT YOU!!!! That's soooo bad!!!!

Kid walks in with a cast on his arm:
Aden:" What happened to his arm!
Me: "He prob didn't listen to his mom and jumped off the couch.
Aden:" Good thing I only jump ON the couch huh mom....

Aden played chef tonight at dinner....
Me:" Chef needs to eat his apples"
From the kitchen came a high pitched voice mimicking me
Aden:" Chef's mom is dead so Chef can do whatever he wants...."

Movie night at my house with vi and Aden goes like this " why is he in white? Why is he dirty? He's got a big mouth don't he mom? Why is the boat there? Is he sad? Is he mad? Why is he sweating?" This goes on for 168 minutes.


Soooo I had classic rock in the car and stepped out to take a quick call when I see Aden dancing clapping his hands with his eyes shut in the car. So I'm like sweet my son likes rock. When I get into the car I realize he changed the station to the Gospel station.....

Violet was reading outloud for school and the book was about ships. She has a slight lisp from losing her front teeth so every paragraph she says ship but it sounds like SHIT. Aden was listening and every time she said ship he said "Ooooohhhh you're in trouble.....". This went on for 20 minutes.

Aden: "Mom. If I don't touch my pee pee when I go pee, do I have to wash my hands still?"

Violet is using a pencil as a magic wand. I hear..

Violet: " Aden you will now play with me and do everything I tell you!"

Aden:" yeah but it's not working. Maybe your wand is broke"